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Why Spending Time ALONE - is Self Care.

Spend time ALONE!

& yes, there is a difference between “alone time” and “loneliness”.

I also know as a mama that carving time out to spend flying solo, might be a tough thing to do, but I promise, making the time for it will be so worth it, in so many ways.

I was out for a walk this morning, i took a really slow, 10,000 step walk round the lake next to my house, and its so beautiful, filled with trees, ducks, wild life and so, so many dogs. But being a Friday morning it was super quiet, and the air was fresh, I had my coffee and I was just strolling, connecting with nature and relaxing. All of this , is pure medicine to me.

I can often get to Friday in the week and just feel like I need to relax, step away and just let out a massive sigh. The working week has been busy, I’ve run from one activity or calendar item to the next, managing an endless to do list and simply, I may be feeling like crap;

1. Tired

2. Stressed

3. Overwhelmed

4. Irritable/Grumpy/Agitated

5. Emotional

These are all signs that you need some time to relax and decompress.

Now on my walk back towards home, I walked past a girl, she must have been late teens or early twenties I don’t know but she stood out to me. In hindsight I think initially it was because, other than me, she was the only person I had seen without a child or a dog in tow!

But I felt a connection with her, a likeness, she was in her comfies, she had her headphones in, and she was just spending time with herself. A part of her woke up and thought, I am going to head out for a walk today this morning, listen to music/a podcast, and walk on my own.

This is SO powerful.

Seeing her honestly, made me smile. It was like in some funny way I was proud of her. Yes girl, you do you, give that time to yourself. All of things, walking, exercise, nature, fresh air, music, podcast, animals, the water of the lake, trees, are all so god damn healing. You will never come away from that feeling worse.

Now, there are a multitude of ways to spend time on your own. But how often, do we consciously choose to do it?

What are you up to tonight? Spending time on my own. We need to normalise spending time on our own, its just as beneficial to ourselves as spending time with our family and best friends.

To name just a few;

1. Give your brain some space! – This is my biggest thing personally, my brain is on the go go go constantly, to the point that I can become forgetful because there is so much going on in there that it honestly just gets overwhelming. So, many times on my walks, or my alone time, I just observe what is going on in my brain, I let it slow down, I see what is bubbling to the surface and address it, fix it or simply decide how I feel about that.

2. Reflection – Oh my, reflection is everything. I am a super reflective person and I replay and revisit lots of things in my mind again to really breakdown how I feel about them, is there anything I need to do, could I have handled anything differently, is there any lessons or key takeaways from a situation? It is also so important to reflect on the great things, we often do not give the great things enough air time in the moment. The joys can be short lived, so come back to it and let yourself smile and feel all of those great feelings again, be proud of yourself.

3. Reignite your creativity – Your mind needs space, to make room for creative thoughts to come to the forefront, they will always, otherwise, be surpassed by the urgent ones, the ones you need to do immediately, the ones that are stressing you out. Let your mind have the room to reflect, be inspired, explore possibilities.

4. Regulate your emotions – Check in with you. Check in with your mind, your body and your soul. We struggle to regulate our emotions in times of high stress, busyness, chaos. Alone time allows us to step away from the chaos, find a sense of peace, quiet, release all of the tension and just breathe.

5. Clarity – Time to yourself helps you see more clearly, it gives you the room to

problem solve without the chaos in the background, it allows you to view your thoughts more clearly without the interruptions and distractions around you. It can help you understand conflicts and provide resolutions, solve dilemmas and makes decisions, all because you’re giving yourself the room to see clearly.

Okay so in what ways, can you spend time alone?

1. While you’re baby sleeps – if you have a little one that is napping, this is a perfect opportunity, to lie back, close your eyes and enjoy the benefits of the above and more.

2. Ask for support - If you have a baby that doesn’t nap – do not be afraid

to ask for someone to watch them for an hour, this is self care for you, to fill up your cup, the more of a peaceful place you are in, the more you can radiate that onto your children.

3. Journaling – Journaling is a fantastic way to get whatever is circling in your mind out of onto the page, let the pen flow and it too, can help you clear up anything that may have been lingering unresolved.

4. Meditation

5. Walking

6. Hiking

7. Listening to music/podcast

8. Swimming/floating in water

9. Doing something creative, like painting, drawing, writing even cleaning can be reflective.

It is not selfish to prioritise yourself, when you allow yourself to reap the benefits of alone time, you will visibly notice the difference in yourself, and as a result, the difference of how you interact with others, your emotional response to things, patience, and overall mood. Your energy will be higher, you will feel more relaxed and positive.

Others around you will notice the positive benefits, of you taking some time for yourself.

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